If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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