ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
