Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Congratulations! We have a period
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