rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
