please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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