i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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