You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize