so that wasnt chicken after all
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
