This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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