im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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