Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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