Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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