we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
you didnt know i had herpes?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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