I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
