I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I had to cum in my sink.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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