he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize