But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
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It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
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Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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