id be glad to
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
