Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
