the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize