i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
