Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
