She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
