i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize