everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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