Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
