do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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