i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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