My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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