Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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