Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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