Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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