So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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