Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
