What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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