There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
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he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
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Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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