"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
