theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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