I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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