So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize