I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN