she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.