I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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