Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
