i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
