i jhust puked up my retainher.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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