This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
