I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
it glows. i had to have it.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
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