good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
