It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
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