Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
