And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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