Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
