Is it normal to miss your booty call?
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
