I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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