Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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