I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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